Patrolling the mediocracy
Podcast: Paris Hilton is in a kitchen, cooking lasagne. #CookingWithParis. Doesn’t sound that great, but it is. Is she desperate? Or is she just out to make an honest sliving? Sean and Robin hail a work of comic genius. Contains onion. No wait, it doesn’t.
Podcast: This is your world, I’m just living in it. It’s a song by Sam & Dave. But Alexa is living in your world! Do you like it? Does she love you? Can she tell you something good? Robin and Sean ask the questions. Contains butchery.
You can’t miss that stuff in the Times about the lawless streets of Britain. Apparently the public are in fear. They’re saying the coppers have lost control. Do these people not use the Met Police website? You can now report your crime online. Take control for yourself.
Podcast: Donald Trump. Bloody hell. Is he the Best Ever, like he says? Or the Worst? Whatever. Are there keys to his tiny mind in his childlike Twitter feed? Is his milk being adulterated? Can he rival the Mr Men for literary complexity? Robin and Sean inspect the White House shitehouse. Contains stone-cold losers.
Podcast: Wake up, it’s the 21st century! When people rubbing their hands clock up more YouTube views than Ed Sheeran (figures not verified). Yes, it’s ASMR. Not sure if you can dig nine minutes of pickle chewing or half an hour of keyboard typing? Then you’re in the right place, with Robin and Sean. Contains triggers.
Podcast: It’s exciting. New parties are springing up like plague buboes on the body politic. But have Change UK-The Independent Group (catchy) or the Brexit Party got anything fresh? Robin and Sean unbox the websites. Contains spoiled ballots.
Nigel Farage’s new party has carefully pre-selected its candidates. Presumably they thought they could sieve out the wonky veg and present a sane line-up. But given they’ll be beneath the Farage banner that’s a bit optimistic.
Podcast: You browse the Sidebar of Shame every day? You know Vogue Williams, Lauren Goodger, Carol Vorderman? You like fights in Wolverhampton, nipple removal (in Wolverhampton) and Brexit? Who doesn’t? Well, no one, and some people, on MailOnline. Robin and Sean scroll right down. Contains fake tan.
Chuka Umunna, Luciana Berger and five (now six) other ex-Labour nobodies gambling on becoming somebodies have launched an independent group. To run away from the party, Brexit and pretty much everything else, apart from the Tories, as three of them have joined too. Making it look a lot more Tory.
Podcast: Phil is in the doghouse but the #RoyalFamily have embraced the modern media. What exactly are they up to? Robin and Sean search their website to find out. Contains deference and forelock-tugging.
Podcast: Robin and Sean search for business wisdom from the experts, including Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg. Contains gold dust.
It’s just come out that Merriam-Webster’s word of the year is justice.