Christmas Advert(s) 2018 Lidl
Lidl haven’t even bothered with a title. Just ‘Christmas Advert 2018’. Jesus. But it’s not all about him.
No. Anyway, they’ve gone with an ‘upgrade’ theme, except unlike with Currys PC World the Lidl products don’t really say ‘upgrade’. For instance Nigel’s upgraded his Christmas with ‘party time’ chicken breast skewers and crispy coated prawns, which makes you wonder what he was on last year. Turkey feet and chips?
In the first of a trio of naff upgrade gags, he’s up-upgraded with imported snow from the North Pole. The snow is in a crate outside his garage and is – punchline – melted, and chunders out like a suburban tsunami when he opens it for his guests.
Still, at least it’s got a punchline. The others haven’t. Unfortunately, it’s about on a par with those Father’s Day cards with a pipe-smoking buffer, an Olivetti typewriter and a joke about the internet.
Meanwhile Renno – I think it’s her, she’s bit of a mystery to me, are you familiar with that name? – has upgraded with some ersatz-posh ‘oriental spiced’ gin, this decade’s fruity vodka, soon to be last decade’s. Let’s get this straight. Gin is for drinking at home, alone, not in ‘parlours’ in Brixton with oriental flavourings or any other where or how. She’s also got her paws on a 75-foot Canadian fir tree, which doesn’t seem to bother anyone, unlike Nigel’s snow. Looks like they’re standing in front of a big hedge.
Leastly, Jenny has upgraded with a deluxe fresh ultrafast Broadland free-range turkey, which has ceased to range. She’s also got an orchestra in, which bothers her guests less than the big tree bothered Renno’s. What does it take to shock people at Christmas nowadays? Some sort of grime outfit probably.
Still, give Lidl this. When they say “Make Christmas a Lidl special”, at least they’ve got a right to the ‘d’.