New York, 5/22/2019 (Note the proper way to write the date!)
Dear Friends Across The Pond,
Where have you been? We are in a UK comedy drought … for the last several months now. We know your political system has fallen to shit. So has ours. Neither situation is funny. Where are the stories about your politicians defending Muslim women’s rights and in the same breath calling them letter boxes for wearing burkas? That’s funny stuff!
Where are the stories about mistaken circumcisions and British Airways pilots who accidentally fly to Scotland instead of Germany? Americans appreciate that because we’ve idealized the British as reeking of process and procedure. It’s funny when you ‘wing it’ (pun intended) and screw up royally.
Speaking of ‘royally’, that’s all we get these days … drivel about the new royal baby. Cute, I suppose, but not funny. Lifetime replayed the Harry and Meghan made-for-TV-movie all weekend. Over and over. Okay, its a bit romantic, the whole notion of the prince marrying a commoner … and an American no less!
Yes, she’s attractive, but when you consider that she’s a divorcee and an actress to boot, the minus column is stacked against a royal union, which I guess makes this whole story even more romantic. Hmm, well, there’s another weekend lost to royal drama.
Didn’t the Windsors try that American divorcee thing before? I saw The King’s Speech. It worked out okay for Britain and the free world, not so much for Wallis Simpson (read Behind Closed Doors: the Tragic, Untold Story of the Duchess of Windsor, by Hugo Vickers). I guess we will wait and see how it turns out for Meghan.
The press is already predicting that Harry, Meghan, and baby Archie will fade to the background as young George, Charlotte, and Louis come of age. I’ll bet Vickers is busy at work on Behind Closed Doors II: the Tragic, Untold Story of Meghan Markle.
Again, none of this is funny. We are desperate here UK. We are pleading with you. Do something unpredictable! That always makes us laugh. How about an economic union with North Korea or electing Rowan Atkinson as PM? Now THAT would be funny, and probably work out great!
Photograph: Victoria by Paul Hampshire from Pixabay
Letter from America, part six: So you’re getting divorced …
Letter from America, part five: Big Pharma chases Big Poop
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